I switched doctors the other day, a decision that kept me up nights riddled with anxiety for months now. My previous doctor I began seeing out of convenience mostly. I liked the fact that it was a small practice and I knew two out of the three doctors personally. And some of the nurses too. I liked the uncrowded parking lot and the flexibility with scheduling. But, really, my health was getting in the way. I want to lose weight. I mean I REALLY want to lose weight. A lot of it. And I've struggled with this problem for YEARS. And my doctors.... they weren't helpful. really. The told me to exercise more. To make more time for me. They said they knew me, they know I'm active... they see me out on the same trails they are on. They told me to ride my bike and to get out more. They recommended that I track my exercise and eating with an online program. They prescribed me protein shakes and told me it would be easy. Simple. Which made me feel like a complete failure when I couldn't do it. I could not do it. And somehow that ties into the same feelings of failure when my ski coaches got so mad at me when I quit ski racing way back when. I failed. Again.
I'm not sure they really heard me when I said I was bone achingly exhausted all of the time. SO TIRED. And yes, I chalk it up to being a single mom, and working all day with lots of small children. But, I'm still so tired. I shouldn't be this tired. I started tracking my heart rate with a monitor. When I noticed that my heart rate was ridiculously low (32 beats a minute when I woke in the morning) they did bloodwork, discovered I had some thyroid problems and prescribed some pills. And then it kindof fell apart. To save money I started doing my blood draws through the VNA. (Blood Draws are recommended every six weeks or so, it's SO expensive!) And then the information didn't always get sent back to the right spot. And then I started doing my yearly wellness exams with the VNA because, well, it's more affordable. And the information didn't always get transferred over to the correct place. And it's hard to work with thyroid prescriptions without reliable bloodwork information. Yes, I get that. Buuuuuut, it still ties into this weight that I have to lose. And I'm not. And I'm beginning to panic about it. And, I need consistent affordable care. So, I switched to the wellness clinic at the VNA (Visiting Nurses Association) and just had my first visit over there. I didn't sleep the night before, tossing and turning with anxiety. I was so nervous they had to take my blood pressure three times before I calmed down enough to have an accurate read. And they helped me come up with a plan of action. And they didn't tell me it was going to be easy. And they didn't tell me to just get out more (no duh). And they told me to take it in small steps, one goal at a time. And they scheduled another appointment for next week, to make another goal. And I am so very hopeful. I left with such a feeling of relief and support, rather than feeling like I'm a pathetic loser who is failing, again. I feel like the plan of action is realistic and doable. And it doesn't involve drinking protein shakes for two meals a day.
And I am so glad to have switched clinics. I can't believe I had so much anxiety about it. Silly me...
I'm not sure they really heard me when I said I was bone achingly exhausted all of the time. SO TIRED. And yes, I chalk it up to being a single mom, and working all day with lots of small children. But, I'm still so tired. I shouldn't be this tired. I started tracking my heart rate with a monitor. When I noticed that my heart rate was ridiculously low (32 beats a minute when I woke in the morning) they did bloodwork, discovered I had some thyroid problems and prescribed some pills. And then it kindof fell apart. To save money I started doing my blood draws through the VNA. (Blood Draws are recommended every six weeks or so, it's SO expensive!) And then the information didn't always get sent back to the right spot. And then I started doing my yearly wellness exams with the VNA because, well, it's more affordable. And the information didn't always get transferred over to the correct place. And it's hard to work with thyroid prescriptions without reliable bloodwork information. Yes, I get that. Buuuuuut, it still ties into this weight that I have to lose. And I'm not. And I'm beginning to panic about it. And, I need consistent affordable care. So, I switched to the wellness clinic at the VNA (Visiting Nurses Association) and just had my first visit over there. I didn't sleep the night before, tossing and turning with anxiety. I was so nervous they had to take my blood pressure three times before I calmed down enough to have an accurate read. And they helped me come up with a plan of action. And they didn't tell me it was going to be easy. And they didn't tell me to just get out more (no duh). And they told me to take it in small steps, one goal at a time. And they scheduled another appointment for next week, to make another goal. And I am so very hopeful. I left with such a feeling of relief and support, rather than feeling like I'm a pathetic loser who is failing, again. I feel like the plan of action is realistic and doable. And it doesn't involve drinking protein shakes for two meals a day.
And I am so glad to have switched clinics. I can't believe I had so much anxiety about it. Silly me...
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